The 3-Step Plan to Stop Tantrums in Their Tracks

Parenting toddlers takes monk-like patience. Little humans haven’t learned to regulate their emotions. Until they do, they can be ticking time bombs waiting to explode, usually at the most inconvenient time. If you’ve peeled a kicking, screaming kid off the floor in the grocery store or dealt with a little terrorist insolently resisting bedtime, you probably know what I am talking about. There are a few things you can do to work with your little guy or gal to nip these tantrums in the bud.

Slept. Fed. Played.

We all know what it’s like to be running on empty. Whether it’s not enough sleep, food, or drink, it’s tough to be chipper when our basic needs aren’t met. Getting a workout in during the day can drastically boost our mood. Our little people often don’t realize that’s where their frustration comes from; their bodily needs show up as outbursts about seemingly ridiculous things. Building a consistent bedtime can do wonders for a child’s mood. Likewise, a balanced, healthy diet and making sure they get their playtime and exercise in. It's easy to overlook or forget the basics in our busy lives. Planning for meals and snacks and building a social and work life around making sure bedtime and playtime happen can sometimes be all that is needed to help your little one go from a complete crank to a mostly pleasant toddler. 

Do What You Say

Communicating consequences for lousy behaviour beforehand helps our little ones know what’s coming their way if they misbehave. Consequences should be fair, consistent, in line with the offence, immediate and delivered without emotion. Avoid promising consequences you shouldn't or won't deliver at any cost. Calmly doing what you said you would do as soon as possible after the outburst will help a child understand that you mean business. It may be really hard and inconvenient at the time to follow through, but this builds a pact. They will begin to understand that bad behaviour brings negative consequences and that good behaviour is rewarded. The next time they are gearing up for a tantrum, and you remind them of the negative result that happened last time, they will think twice. But they need to know that you do what you say. 

Connect. Connect. Connect.

Most of all, building a strong foundation of mutual respect, trust and love is essential. Kids who know they are loved right down to their boots have the best chance of being happy and exhibiting consistently good behaviour. The urge to yell and retaliate towards a two-year-old throwing a fit can be strong, but opting for a calm, serious tone, even lowering your voice, drawing your face close to theirs and speaking softly when offering correction, can make a much greater impact. Laugh with them. Play games they like. Spend time doing what they love. Being fair and having a child know they’re loved are the surest remedies to outbursts, as they won’t want to disappoint or break your strong relationship. 

It Ain’t Easy. And It Ain’t Perfect

No matter how much you try, sometimes kids lash out. Certain toddlers are just a lot more feisty and hard to control. And switching to healthier relating, parenting, and living habits takes time. Don’t expect it to get better overnight. But with small, consistent efforts, you will notice a difference in their behaviour. At BooksDadsLove.com, we believe parenting should be a journey you enjoy, not just survive. Give yourself and them as much grace as possible, do your best, and trust God with the rest.