This Week's Lenten Challenge: Give the Gift of Touch

I was thinking about what to give up this Lent.

First thought: Coffee? 

Second thought: Would my family really appreciate an uncaffeinated version of me every morning?  

Third thought: Scratch that.

Then the whole, rend your heart and not your garments, bit came to mind.

It struck me:

What better Lenten challenge than to build more meaningful relationships?

I've decided to tackle weekly Lenten challenges to improve my relationship with my kids. Feel free to join me.

Week 1: Physical Touch

After cuddling my 5-year-old to get her to sleep, I got up to leave the room. Normally, I’d give my 11-year-old - asleep in the bed beside her - a quick kiss and say “Good night”. 

On a whim, I slid into bed beside her instead. 

We cuddled and talked about her day for a few minutes. As I was getting up to leave, she said, 

"That was really nice, Dad. I like cuddling with you.” 

It’s easy to forget how much our touch means to our kids. As they grow up, they initiate the cuddle times less and less. And with the million things you're juggling - especially if there are multiple kids in the picture - you forget to make the time for it. 

And many of us didn’t grow up with models of affectionate physical fatherhood. The old-school dad was not used to loving, physical touch. 

Kids are starved for it, though: your snuggles, hugs, and gentle hands mean more to them than you know. Our bodies communicate more than we can with words. Hugging an upset child is sometimes all that’s needed to send the message: 

I’m here. 

You’re safe. 

You can trust me. 

It will all be ok. 

A gentle hand on the arm or shoulder makes correction easier to receive. 

A firm hug can help calm a tantrum better than a scolding.

When kids feel your love, their pulse slows, their body relaxes, and tension drains.  

This Week’s Lenten Challenge

Make a point to show affection through touch once a day to every child. Whether it’s reading with them on your lap or a longer-than-normal, purposeful hug, make time to let your child feel safe, special, chosen and loved through your touch.